The Fi(ND)ing Motherhood Journal:
Reflections on Matrescence and Raising Neurodivergent Children
Welcome to The Fi(ND)ing Motherhood Journal — a collection of reflections, insights, and personal stories exploring the transformation of motherhood through the lens of matrescence. Here, I write about what it really means to raise neurodivergent and disabled children in a world that often misunderstands them — and us.
These pieces are adapted from the Fi(ND)ing Motherhood podcast, blending lived experience, research, and heart-led honesty to help you feel seen, grounded, and less alone on this journey. Whether you’re newly navigating a diagnosis or years into parenting a child with additional needs, you’ll find compassion, community, and calm here.
Kick at the Darkness: Holding on to Hope When It Feels Like Too Much
When life with a neurodivergent or disabled child feels like “too much,” hope can seem far away. This piece explores hope as a practical, body-based skill — not toxic positivity — with gentle stories, a 3-minute grounding practice, and reflection prompts to help you keep going when the system and the day are both heavy.
The Myth of the Good Mum: Why You Don’t Need to Be a Superhero to Be Enough
We’ve been told that a “good mum” is endlessly patient, perfectly organised, and always available — but what if that belief is what’s breaking us? In this week’s episode, I unpack the myth of the “good mother,” where it came from, who benefits from it, and how we can finally let it go — with gentleness, truth, and enoughness.
High Needs, Low Needs, Same Fight: Why We’re Stronger Together
Dividing autistic children into “high” and “low” needs doesn’t protect anyone — it harms us all. This is how the false divide shows up in policy, in our homes, and in our hearts — and why the only way forward is solidarity.
You Are Not to Blame: Tylenol Headlines, Autism, and the Toll of Blame on Mothers
Another week, another headline claiming to have found “the cause” of autism — this time, paracetamol. Here’s what the research really says, why the blame always seems to fall on mothers, and how to release guilt that never belonged to you in the first place.
Is It Burnout or Hormones? (Or Just Me Falling Apart?)
When post-diagnosis matrescence, chronic caregiving stress, and perimenopause collide, it can feel like you’re falling apart. You’re not. Here’s how to name it, navigate it, and care for the woman you’re becoming.
When Control Is Fear in Disguise
When we grip tighter out of fear, we often lose the very peace we’re trying to protect. This post explores how the need for control can mask deep fear — and how learning to soften our hold can help us reconnect with our children, ourselves, and the journey we’re on.
Rewriting the Script: What If You Spoke to Yourself Like Someone You Loved?
We say things to ourselves we’d never say to anyone else — not even someone we disliked. This episode is an invitation to pause, soften, and begin speaking to yourself with the same kindness you offer everyone else. Because you can’t shame yourself into healing. But you can love yourself into peace.
The Care We Carry: What Feminism Forgot About Motherhood
Care isn’t a lifestyle or a love language… it’s invisible infrastructure. This companion post explores Care Feminism, the mental load of parenting a neurodivergent/disabled child, and why naming our labour as work is a feminist act. Love matters. But love alone can’t replace systems.
Let There Be Softness: Reclaiming Strength Without the Armour
You don’t have to earn rest. You don’t have to prove strength.
In this post, we talk about the quiet, healing power of softness — how it helps you breathe again, connect again, and remember that you were never meant to carry it all alone.
Too Strong for Too Long: The Hidden Burnout of Motherhood
There’s a certain kind of strength that isn’t strength at all — it’s survival. In Too Strong for Too Long, I talk about the hidden burnout of motherhood, the rage beneath resilience, and what it means to finally let the cracks show.
Only Half the Story: The Emotional Toll of Proving Your Child’s Needs
So much of parenting a neurodivergent child involves proving what’s “wrong” just to access support. But what happens to us — and to them — when the system only sees half the story? This reflection explores the emotional toll of deficit-based forms and meetings, and the quiet strength it takes to hold on to the rest.
Changelings, Communication, and the Hidden Wisdom of Non-Speaking Children
What if the ancient changeling myths weren’t stories of fear, but of wonder — early attempts to describe the wisdom and mystery of children who see and communicate differently?
The First of Your Kind: Parenting an Autistic Child Without a Map
Being the first in your family to raise a neurodivergent or disabled child means walking without a map — rewriting motherhood as you go. This post explores the loneliness, the hidden strength, and the quiet revolution of becoming the mother your child needs.
Some Days I Don’t Want to Fight Anymore
Some days, the fight just goes out of you. After yet another school meeting or system battle, you sit in the car and feel… nothing. No anger. No tears. Just the numbness that comes from trying too hard for too long.
This post is about the quiet cost of advocacy — the emotional exhaustion, the nervous system shutdown, and the moments when even the strongest mothers feel like they can’t keep going. Through honesty, science, and self-compassion, we explores what it means to rest without guilt and return to yourself without shame.
Because sometimes, letting go of the fight is how we find our strength again.
Motherhood & Guilt: How to Let Go of “I Should Have Known Sooner”
So many mothers carry the quiet ache of I should have known sooner. This blog explores where that guilt comes from, how medical and social systems feed it, and how to release it with compassion and context… one gentle breath at a time.
This Isn’t What I Expected: Processing the Emotional Highs and Lows of Your Child’s Diagnosis
When your child is diagnosed - with autism, a disability, or anything that changes the path you imagined - the emotions can feel like a storm. One moment there’s relief and clarity; the next, grief and fear. This post explores how to hold those contradictions with compassion, how matrescence shapes your emotional landscape, and how to process it all without guilt or shame. You’re not broken for feeling everything… you’re human, and you’re doing your best.
Who Am I Now? Rediscovering Yourself After Your Child’s Diagnosis
After your child’s diagnosis, it’s common to feel like you’ve lost yourself. Explore how to grieve, rediscover, and rebuild your identity as a mother through self-compassion and connection.
When Public Figures Get It Wrong
When public figures make harmful claims about autism, it doesn’t just make headlines — it makes heartbreak. It reopens wounds parents are still learning how to live with. In this deeply personal piece, I share what RFK Jr. and Mary Butler TD got wrong, how it impacts real families, and why we must protect our children not just with services, but with the stories we tell about them.
Welcome to Fi(ND)ing Motherhood
Motherhood after diagnosis reshapes everything — your routines, your identity, your heart. In Welcome to Fi(ND)ing Motherhood, I share my story of learning to carry the invisible weight with more compassion, and finding meaning again through matrescence.