You Are Not to Blame: Tylenol Headlines, Autism, and the Toll of Blame on Mothers
Note: This article discusses historic and current claims about the “cause” of autism and the ways these narratives blame mothers. Please read gently and pause if you need to.
A breath before we begin
If your chest already feels tight from this week’s headlines, take one slow breath. Feel your feet on the floor. Let your shoulders drop. Remind yourself: you are safe, you’re doing your best, and nothing in the news changes the love you carry for your child.
When the Headline Hits Home
It was just another scroll through my phone… until it wasn’t.
Another study, another “possible cause of autism.”
This time, it was paracetamol. Or Tylenol, as it’s called in the States.
And for a split second, I felt my stomach drop.
That quiet, familiar voice whispered: Did I take paracetamol? Did I do this?
Even now… after years of coaching mothers, after reading the science, after living and breathing neurodiversity every day… that whisper still knows where to land. It finds the soft spots. The ones carved out by years of subtle blame and impossible standards.
If you felt that too - that mix of guilt, anger, fear, and sadness - I want to say this clearly before we go any further:
You are not to blame.
Not for taking medicine in pregnancy.
Not for doing your best with the information you had.
Not for your child being autistic.
You are not the cause. You are the constant.
The Truth Behind the Tylenol Headlines
So here’s what actually happened… in plain English.
A group of U.S. researchers looked at medical records and found a possible link between paracetamol use in pregnancy and autism.
Not a cause. A correlation.
In research terms, that’s like noticing that people who own more umbrellas also tend to live in wetter places… and then deciding the umbrellas caused the rain.
These studies can show patterns, but they can’t tell us why those patterns exist. Maybe people who take paracetamol were already unwell. Maybe they had fevers, infections, or chronic pain - all of which can affect pregnancy outcomes. Maybe there were differences in environment, healthcare access, or genetics. The truth is: no one knows.
That’s why major health organisations like ACOG and the World Health Organisation still say the same thing:
Paracetamol is safe when used as directed.
Untreated high fever or severe pain can be far more dangerous than the medicine itself.
The science hasn’t changed. The fear, however, has.
A Familiar Pattern: When the World Blames Mothers
If you’ve been around the autism world long enough, this might feel like déjà vu.
We’ve seen it before: refrigerator mothers, vaccines, gluten, WiFi, even ultrasounds. Each time, a new headline, a new theory, a new reason to point fingers at parents.
But it’s never really about the science, is it? It’s about the story society tells itself when it feels uncomfortable with difference.
It’s easier to look for a villain than to accept that autism has always existed: across every culture, every century, every generation.
And for some reason, that villain is almost always the mother.
“When society can’t understand something, it blames mothers.”
The tragedy is not just in the bad science… it’s in the emotional aftershock.
Because even when our rational brain knows better, our nervous system still flinches.
We read a headline and our bodies tighten, our breath catches, and those old stories - you should have known, you should have done better - come rushing back.
Why It Hurts So Much
I think these stories cut so deep because motherhood already holds so much invisible pressure.
From the moment we conceive, we’re told we are responsible for everything: what we eat, what we feel, how we birth, how we bond.
We live in a culture that monitors mothers more closely than almost any other role.
So when the news cycle churns out yet another “cause of autism” story, it doesn’t land on neutral ground.
It lands on a heart that’s already heavy.
On a mind that’s already carrying questions.
On a mother who’s already wondering if she’s doing enough.
And maybe (like me) you feel more than just fear. Maybe you feel anger too.
Anger that science is still chasing shadows instead of funding support.
Anger that the world treats autism like a mystery to be solved, instead of a reality to be embraced.
Anger that once again, we’re left to pick up the emotional pieces.
Releasing What Isn’t Yours
If you’re holding your breath right now, let it out.
You can’t carry this for all of us. You don’t have to.
Here’s what helps me when these stories hit:
1. Name it
Is this guilt? Shame? Anger? Grief? Naming it out loud takes away its power.
2. Reframe it
When that inner critic starts up — I should have known better — try saying,
“I made the best choices I could with what I knew at the time.”
3. Protect your peace.
You don’t need to read every article.
You don’t need to join every comment thread.
Wait for trusted voices - autistic advocates, neurodiversity-affirming professionals - to interpret the science for you.
4. Let your body exhale.
Put a hand on your heart.
Take three slow breaths.
Imagine setting down a heavy bag labelled “what if”.
Feel how much lighter you are without it.
Reclaiming the Story
Maybe we can’t stop the headlines. But we can stop letting them define us.
We can shift the story from blame to belonging.
From fear to understanding.
From searching for causes to building compassion.
Because autism isn’t a mistake.
It isn’t something to prevent or cure.
It’s part of the vast, beautiful diversity of being human.
And you… the mother who loves fiercely, who worries deeply, who keeps showing up… you are not broken either.
A Grounding Thought to Take With You
When the next headline comes (and it will), take a breath and whisper:
I release what doesn’t belong to me.
I am not to blame.
My child is not a problem to be solved.
We are worthy of love, support, and joy, exactly as we are.
That’s the story worth repeating.
Sources referenced
FDA: Press announcement + clinician notice re: possible association/label review (Sep 22, 2025).
ACOG: 2025 practice advisory & news release; ongoing patient FAQs (acetaminophen appropriate when used as directed).
WHO: No conclusive evidence of causal link (Sep 24, 2025).
Public health explainers (observational ≠ causal).
Historic context (MMR retraction; refrigerator-mother era).
Advocacy context (autistic voices urging focus on support & inclusion).
Listen to the full episode:
Next step
If this story resonates, you might find my free guide The First 30 Days especially grounding — a gentle companion for those early weeks after diagnosis. Download it here →
