The Fi(ND)ing Motherhood Journal:
Reflections on Matrescence and Raising Neurodivergent Children
Welcome to The Fi(ND)ing Motherhood Journal — a collection of reflections, insights, and personal stories exploring the transformation of motherhood through the lens of matrescence. Here, I write about what it really means to raise neurodivergent and disabled children in a world that often misunderstands them — and us.
These pieces are adapted from the Fi(ND)ing Motherhood podcast, blending lived experience, research, and heart-led honesty to help you feel seen, grounded, and less alone on this journey. Whether you’re newly navigating a diagnosis or years into parenting a child with additional needs, you’ll find compassion, community, and calm here.
High Needs, Low Needs, Same Fight: Why We’re Stronger Together
Dividing autistic children into “high” and “low” needs doesn’t protect anyone — it harms us all. This is how the false divide shows up in policy, in our homes, and in our hearts — and why the only way forward is solidarity.
You Are Not to Blame: Tylenol Headlines, Autism, and the Toll of Blame on Mothers
Another week, another headline claiming to have found “the cause” of autism — this time, paracetamol. Here’s what the research really says, why the blame always seems to fall on mothers, and how to release guilt that never belonged to you in the first place.
The Care We Carry: What Feminism Forgot About Motherhood
Care isn’t a lifestyle or a love language… it’s invisible infrastructure. This companion post explores Care Feminism, the mental load of parenting a neurodivergent/disabled child, and why naming our labour as work is a feminist act. Love matters. But love alone can’t replace systems.
Let There Be Softness: Reclaiming Strength Without the Armour
You don’t have to earn rest. You don’t have to prove strength.
In this post, we talk about the quiet, healing power of softness — how it helps you breathe again, connect again, and remember that you were never meant to carry it all alone.
Only Half the Story: The Emotional Toll of Proving Your Child’s Needs
So much of parenting a neurodivergent child involves proving what’s “wrong” just to access support. But what happens to us — and to them — when the system only sees half the story? This reflection explores the emotional toll of deficit-based forms and meetings, and the quiet strength it takes to hold on to the rest.
The First of Your Kind: Parenting an Autistic Child Without a Map
Being the first in your family to raise a neurodivergent or disabled child means walking without a map — rewriting motherhood as you go. This post explores the loneliness, the hidden strength, and the quiet revolution of becoming the mother your child needs.
Some Days I Don’t Want to Fight Anymore
Some days, the fight just goes out of you. After yet another school meeting or system battle, you sit in the car and feel… nothing. No anger. No tears. Just the numbness that comes from trying too hard for too long.
This post is about the quiet cost of advocacy — the emotional exhaustion, the nervous system shutdown, and the moments when even the strongest mothers feel like they can’t keep going. Through honesty, science, and self-compassion, we explores what it means to rest without guilt and return to yourself without shame.
Because sometimes, letting go of the fight is how we find our strength again.