https://www.finding-motherhood.com/blog daily 0.75 2026-01-11 https://www.finding-motherhood.com/blog/our-kind-of-christmas monthly 0.5 2025-12-08 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/e43020f3-7b54-4436-8d60-9b0f68af43c3/Untitled+design-2.png Blog - Our Kind of Christmas: Small, Soft, Still Magical If your Christmas looks less like a cosy advert and more like a sensory obstacle course, this one is for you. Maybe your December includes: Kids climbing the tree instead of serenely hanging ornaments A box of delicate, meaningful decorations you still can’t use Beige safe foods on the table instead of a perfect roast A child who finds the school Christmas concert utterly unbearable A nervous system that feels like it’s been in a pressure cooker since mid-November If that’s your reality, you are not doing Christmas “wrong”. You’re simply living a Christmas the adverts weren’t written for. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/31f80576-e339-4444-8d77-b347975e25cb/Body+copy.png Blog - Our Kind of Christmas: Small, Soft, Still Magical - Somewhere underneath all of that, many of us absorb a quiet story: “A good mum makes Christmas magical. A good mum makes memories. A good mum pulls it all off with a smile.” We’ve talked on the podcast before about the “good mum” myth… that idea that we must be endlessly patient, organised and self-sacrificing to count as “good enough”. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/ae07166e-2fbf-4a37-b8f3-6abe05bb8bf8/Body.png Blog - Our Kind of Christmas: Small, Soft, Still Magical - Suddenly the picture-perfect Christmas dinner crashes into reality. Reality might look like: Plain crisps and yoghurt Chips, toast, plain pasta on repeat A completely separate “kids’ table” of beige safe foods Cue the guilt spiral: “Am I ruining their childhood memories?” “What will people think?” “Shouldn’t I be encouraging variety?” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/81555ff0-6325-4613-b9c7-217c43f9ddcc/Body+copy+3.png Blog - Our Kind of Christmas: Small, Soft, Still Magical - Culturally, we frame this as a “core childhood memory”. So when your child can’t cope - melts down in rehearsal, refuses to go on stage, or needs to leave early - it’s very easy to blame yourself. What if, instead, we let ourselves say: “I’m sad I don’t get the picture everyone else has.” “I’m sad my child can’t enjoy this in the way I imagined.” …and we ask: “Am I willing to put my child through agony for the sake of a photo?” Choosing your child’s wellbeing over a mythical “core memory” is not failure. It is love in action. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/eb0bea65-b28e-4575-b9dc-dcfbdd38ada8/Body+copy+2.png Blog - Our Kind of Christmas: Small, Soft, Still Magical - Some tiny ways to put yourself back in the picture: One thing just for you: a particular treat, a walk alone on St Stephen’s Day/Boxing Day, a book you genuinely want to read. Micro-rests: three extra minutes in the car before you go into someone’s house; ten minutes lying on the bed while the kids are on screens. Letting some balls drop on purpose: no handmade teacher gifts, gift bags instead of elaborate wrapping, no expectation that the house stay tidy on top of everything else. https://www.finding-motherhood.com/blog/kick-at-the-darkness monthly 0.5 2025-11-11 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/a09075fb-6848-4e65-b564-a647025fa7b5/kk.png Blog - Kick at the Darkness: Holding on to Hope When It Feels Like Too Much Some darkness doesn’t crash in… it creeps. From the outside: school runs, packed lunches, therapy appointments. From the inside: a mountain on your back that no one can see. Maybe it looks like: A “placement” conversation where no one says the hard thing out loud. A behaviour note from someone who doesn’t read sensory cues. Tears over the sink at 10pm because stopping means falling apart. When you live here long enough, hope feels like a foreign language. This post is your phrasebook. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/0c484b5c-5e4a-4c52-b296-5c75b43819e6/pp.png Blog - Kick at the Darkness: Holding on to Hope When It Feels Like Too Much - One afternoon my chest felt tight and my brain foggy. I made tea, switched on the laundry, and sat down… without doing anything else. That was my win. Let this be enough today: “I get to sit.” “My needs matter.” “I won’t disappear in this story.” https://www.finding-motherhood.com/blog/the-myth-of-the-good-mum monthly 0.5 2025-11-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/2fb4606e-af36-4fcc-a0ac-d452707d5bd9/pp.png Blog - The Myth of the Good Mum: Why You Don’t Need to Be a Superhero to Be Enough The “good mother” we grew up seeing was quiet and consistent. She was loving, selfless, endlessly patient. She didn’t shout. She didn’t rest. She didn’t need. Even if our own mothers didn’t fit that image, society handed it to us - through films, magazines, social media, and cultural scripts that glorify the self-sacrificing woman. Dr Sophie Brock, a sociologist who studies motherhood, calls this The Good Mother Ideology: a set of unwritten rules that tell us what makes a “good” mum. The problem? These rules are impossible to live up to, yet we’re still judged by them. We even judge ourselves by them. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/b7692367-8d7b-44fd-ad0b-10a3db8825b0/vv.png Blog - The Myth of the Good Mum: Why You Don’t Need to Be a Superhero to Be Enough If the “good mum” ideal is so harmful… why does it persist? Because it benefits the systems that rely on our unpaid, unseen labour. When mothers believe they must do it all without complaint, we’re less likely to challenge underfunded services or unfair expectations. Governments benefit when we absorb the fallout of austerity. Health and education systems benefit when we coordinate care. And patriarchal structures benefit when we quietly carry the domestic and emotional load. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/a90bb48a-ee8e-4b42-9962-22ed37b9b922/xx.png Blog - The Myth of the Good Mum: Why You Don’t Need to Be a Superhero to Be Enough Let those answers come softly. Let them guide you home to yourself. You were never meant to be a superhero. You were meant to be human - real, feeling, imperfect, whole. And that version of you… the one who knows her limits, who rests when needed, who shows up imperfectly but wholeheartedly - is more than enough. So this week, lay down the cape. Pause before you power through. And remind yourself: You do not have to do it all to be a good mum. You just have to be you. https://www.finding-motherhood.com/blog/high-needs-low-needs-same-fight monthly 0.5 2025-11-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/24aae004-c823-4ce4-8a2c-4aae313e0d4f/tt.png Blog - High Needs, Low Needs, Same Fight: Why We’re Stronger Together For parents, it means one more round of fighting. One more round of proving. One more round of explaining why their child deserves to exist in this society with dignity. My immediate reaction was anger. A deep, shaking, visceral anger. Because my son is what they would call “high support needs.” He’s nonspeaking. He dysregulates easily. He needs constant scaffolding to move through the world. So you might think… well, then, what’s my problem? Surely this “protects” him. But that’s the trap. The minute we start dividing autistic children into “high” and “low,” everyone loses. It’s a false divide… and a deliberate one. This piece pulls apart that false divide: why it’s dangerous, why it harms every single one of us, and why the only way forward is together. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/37a5059e-1e2b-481e-92af-56b0c3e4a713/pp.png Blog - High Needs, Low Needs, Same Fight: Why We’re Stronger Together If division is the weapon, solidarity is the shield. I’ve felt that solidarity in small, holy moments: a mum of a “low-needs” child sitting beside me after a brutal meeting; a parent of a nonspeaking teen validating another mum’s nightly masking meltdowns. No comparisons. No minimising. Just, I see you. Movements grow at the speed of trust. Not sameness. Solidarity across difference. Try this: Think of one parent whose journey looks different to yours. Send a message today: I see you. I’m with you. What would help right now? That’s where movements begin… in kitchens, WhatsApp groups, waiting rooms. My son has high support needs. Your child might not. But both of us lie awake at night, planning, worrying, loving. https://www.finding-motherhood.com/blog/you-are-not-to-blame monthly 0.5 2025-10-21 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/576fc55c-40c1-44d7-9153-27dc0e7f25c6/dd.png Blog - You Are Not to Blame: Tylenol Headlines, Autism, and the Toll of Blame on Mothers It was just another scroll through my phone… until it wasn’t. Another study, another “possible cause of autism.” This time, it was paracetamol. Or Tylenol, as it’s called in the States. And for a split second, I felt my stomach drop. That quiet, familiar voice whispered: Did I take paracetamol? Did I do this? Even now… after years of coaching mothers, after reading the science, after living and breathing neurodiversity every day… that whisper still knows where to land. It finds the soft spots. The ones carved out by years of subtle blame and impossible standards. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/02801bbb-2734-4076-9c30-69821513a01f/dd-2.png Blog - You Are Not to Blame: Tylenol Headlines, Autism, and the Toll of Blame on Mothers If you’ve been around the autism world long enough, this might feel like déjà vu. We’ve seen it before: refrigerator mothers, vaccines, gluten, WiFi, even ultrasounds. Each time, a new headline, a new theory, a new reason to point fingers at parents. But it’s never really about the science, is it? It’s about the story society tells itself when it feels uncomfortable with difference. It’s easier to look for a villain than to accept that autism has always existed: across every culture, every century, every generation. And for some reason, that villain is almost always the mother. “When society can’t understand something, it blames mothers.” https://www.finding-motherhood.com/blog/burnout-or-hormones monthly 0.5 2025-10-19 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/7da58c23-b85a-4d90-8642-4e40d37ee779/nn.png Blog - Is It Burnout or Hormones? (Or Just Me Falling Apart?) There’s a particular kind of Tuesday where nothing is “wrong” and nothing feels right. You’ve done the school run, answered the therapist’s email, put snacks on the counter, and you’re suddenly blinking back tears at the sight of a messy kitchen. You’re not in crisis. You’re also not okay. I used to tell myself: It’s just stress. I’ll be fine when things settle down. Spoiler: in this version of motherhood, things rarely “settle”. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/7ea071b1-26ec-47dc-8f61-7401b628cedf/aa.png Blog - Is It Burnout or Hormones? (Or Just Me Falling Apart?) Caregiver burnout: emotional exhaustion, irritability, detachment, cognitive fog, bone-deep fatigue Chronic stress: all of the above + muscle tension, headaches, digestion issues, sleep disruption, skin flare-ups Perimenopause: mood swings (including rage spikes), night waking, brain fog, joint pain, cycle changes Sound familiar? Exactly. https://www.finding-motherhood.com/blog/when-control-is-fear-in-disguise monthly 0.5 2025-10-19 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/9bed89eb-fd75-4a92-a106-fa0bdbea41c7/ww-2.png Blog - When Control Is Fear in Disguise Before my son’s diagnosis, I prided myself on being capable. Efficient. Calm in chaos. But after diagnosis, that calm cracked. Suddenly, every decision felt monumental - the right therapy, the right preschool, the right specialist. There was no manual, no map, no margin for error. And beneath the surface, something else was happening. I was changing. Matrescence (the identity shift of becoming a mother) had already reshaped me once. But after diagnosis, it reshaped me again. Only this time, it didn’t feel like a becoming. It felt like coming undone. I wasn’t just a mother anymore. I was a case manager, an advocate, an educator, an interpreter of reports and systems and silences. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/e59097f3-5a2c-4750-89c9-0fb83ca80c08/cc.png Blog - When Control Is Fear in Disguise Letting go is not the same as giving up. It’s the practice of creating space - for ourselves, for our children, for what might unfold when we stop gripping so tightly. If I could go back to those early days… the ones held together by spreadsheets, caffeine, and silent tears… I wouldn’t tell myself to relax. I’d tell myself the truth. This is hard because it’s hard. Because the systems aren’t built for us. Because you’re carrying more than anyone should. Because you love so deeply it hurts. And also… you’re not broken. You’re human. Fear is love with nowhere to land. And control? It’s just fear in disguise. https://www.finding-motherhood.com/blog/rewriting-the-script monthly 0.5 2025-10-19 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/cafa80e1-350c-4c02-8946-8148140d3199/ss.png Blog - Rewriting the Script: What If You Spoke to Yourself Like Someone You Loved? It was small. I’d forgotten to book an appointment and snapped at myself: “God, what is wrong with you? Get it together.” The words didn’t shock me. The familiarity did. That tone - sharp, disappointed, harsh - had become the background noise of my inner world. I stopped, placed a hand on my chest, and asked: Would I ever speak to my daughter like that? To a friend? To another mum in one of my circles? Of course not. So why was it okay to speak to myself that way? That tiny pause became a turning point… not a lightning bolt moment of change, but a whisper that wouldn’t leave me alone. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/50471523-c856-4bce-9da8-435612a33dc0/ww.png Blog - Rewriting the Script: What If You Spoke to Yourself Like Someone You Loved? Take a breath. Imagine sitting across from yourself… not your ideal self, just you as you are. Tired. Trying. Doing your best. Now imagine reaching out and resting your hand on her shoulder. Whisper: I see how hard you’re trying. You don’t have to do this alone. You are enough, even in the mess. That’s it. That’s the practice. Self-compassion doesn’t demand perfection. It invites presence. https://www.finding-motherhood.com/blog/the-care-we-carry monthly 0.5 2025-10-18 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/818544db-3a50-4aa2-be45-f111a56d451f/ii.png Blog - The Care We Carry: What Feminism Forgot About Motherhood - Feminism promised visibility, validation, and equality. Yet too much of the mainstream conversation wasn’t built with carers like us in mind. The familiar slogans - economic independence, reproductive choice, sexual liberation - matter deeply. But where did caregiving fit? Where did mothering fit? Where did disabled children and their families fit? Many feminist spaces framed motherhood as a personal choice, a lifestyle decision. When you’re parenting a disabled or non-speaking child, that framing stings. It erases systemic failure and the way families are forced to absorb shortfalls in respite, therapies, and inclusive education. Our barrier isn’t just a glass ceiling… it’s the missing scaffolding under our feet. “I didn’t need motherhood to be de-gendered… I needed care to be named, resourced, and protected.” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/04cd378a-33e8-4463-af7d-2a274718d06b/xx.png Blog - The Care We Carry: What Feminism Forgot About Motherhood What if feminism started with soft floors instead of glass ceilings? Infrastructure, not platitudes: reliable respite, livable carer’s incomes, inclusive schools, functioning therapy services. Care as leadership: mothering recognised as strategic, skilled, and socially essential. Interdependence as strength: building networks where access needs are seen and met - what Mia Mingus calls access intimacy. If systems truly valued care, carers would be paid a living wage not tied to a partner’s income, respite would be routine not a miracle, and disability teams would provide therapies rather than outsourcing the work to parents under the banner of “empowerment.” https://www.finding-motherhood.com/blog/let-there-be-softness monthly 0.5 2025-10-18 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/d1ad403f-fc82-4496-a583-b19720fb3676/cc.png Blog - Let There Be Softness: Reclaiming Strength Without the Armour Softness isn’t indulgence. It’s science. When we’re constantly braced - physically or emotionally - our bodies live in survival mode. The stress hormones that were designed to protect us begin to consume us instead. As Dr. Aditi Nerurkar explains, modern stress is often “a chronic low-level survival state.” The antidote isn’t doing more… it’s pausing. That pause is where softness lives. When we soften, our breath deepens, our heart rate steadies, our digestion restores, and our mind quiets enough to hear what we actually need. Softness is the bridge between chaos and clarity. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/8a573810-455c-4f82-97d1-47ac9522529a/dd.png Blog - Let There Be Softness: Reclaiming Strength Without the Armour If you only take one thing from this post, let it be this: You are not behind. You are becoming. Softness means trusting your own rhythm. It’s not weakness… it’s wisdom. So, let there be softness. In your breath. In your voice. In your boundaries. In your joy. Let softness be the gentle rebellion that brings you home to yourself. Because you, too, deserve care. You, too, are worthy of ease. You, too, get to be soft. https://www.finding-motherhood.com/blog/too-strong-for-too-long monthly 0.5 2025-10-18 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/66fa02e4-e74d-401a-81e8-7b54c12d689e/oo.png Blog - Too Strong for Too Long: The Hidden Burnout of Motherhood Like the day I sat in my car before a school meeting and thought, I can’t go in. I don’t want to explain him again. I don’t want to beg one more time to be believed. A few days ago, I sat in one of those meetings again - me, my husband, our son’s OT, and his Spelling to Communicate teacher. We’d come in hopeful, ready to share the progress we’d seen and the joy we’d witnessed. Ready to show that presuming competence changes everything. But the teacher in charge wasn’t there. “Out sick,” we were told. And the conversation that followed… it drained the hope right out of me. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/5e9a477e-48e5-490c-86bd-311c173ed827/qq.png Blog - Too Strong for Too Long: The Hidden Burnout of Motherhood There’s a Japanese art called kintsugi - mending broken pottery with gold. The cracks become the beauty. My gold is made of 3am messages, half-drunk tea, laughter through tears, fridge artwork, and the whispered “I love you even when you scream.” When I show my cracks, other mothers whisper, “Me too.” Together, we become a mosaic - imperfect, radiant, real. We make the invisible visible. That’s how we heal: Not by pretending to be unbreakable, but by letting our cracks sing. https://www.finding-motherhood.com/blog/only-half-the-story monthly 0.5 2025-10-18 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/788b3aa7-fb9e-4ca9-9f51-d9e6856ac1f5/mm.png Blog - Only Half the Story: The Emotional Toll of Proving Your Child’s Needs - If you’ve ever sat in one of those, you’ll know what I mean when I say: it’s exhausting. Meeting after meeting where your child is discussed at their most dysregulated, their most vulnerable. Sometimes, yes, it’s necessary… a way to ensure the right supports are in place. But other times, it just feels like an emotional gut punch. There’s a quote I came across recently that stopped me in my tracks: “The hardest part of being an SEN parent is writing down in detail what your child can’t do, when all you want to do is shout from the rooftops about what they can do.” And I felt that. Deeply. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/4cd752b0-361e-4f09-b001-b65ad13347e8/ll.png Blog - Only Half the Story: The Emotional Toll of Proving Your Child’s Needs For me, that looks like celebrating small wins out loud: “He gave me the biggest cuddle today.” “He answered five new spelling questions.” “He’s obsessed with Jacques Cousteau at the moment.” No assessment form will ever ask about those things… but they matter more than anything. If you can, capture them: Voice memos after good days A folder of proud photos Notes of small victories https://www.finding-motherhood.com/blog/changelings monthly 0.5 2025-10-18 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/778ff40e-a37f-4777-ab7b-4d84c5709c5d/vv.png Blog - Changelings, Communication, and the Hidden Wisdom of Non-Speaking Children - In old Irish belief, the Sidhe (pronounced “shee”) - the fairy folk - were mysterious, powerful beings who lived in a world just beside our own. Sometimes they were seen as guardians of nature; other times, as unpredictable spirits capable of crossing into human life. The changeling myth tells of a fairy child left in place of a human baby who had been taken to the fairy realm. The changeling looked the same, but something was off: a strange stillness, an unfamiliar cry, a distant gaze. In Fairy and Folk Tales of the Irish Peasantry by W.B. Yeats, one mother laments, “He has the same face as my own, but he never laughs nor cries. His gaze goes through me like I am not there.” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/53e26106-7be1-4f52-9fcb-63b327449326/qq.png Blog - Changelings, Communication, and the Hidden Wisdom of Non-Speaking Children Some families and non-speakers describe experiences that seem to border on intuition or telepathy — a kind of knowing that exists before language. This may sound mystical, but perhaps that’s the point. If fairy stories were once our ancestors’ way of describing these uncanny, wordless connections, maybe they were closer to understanding than we realise. Recently, I listened to a fascinating podcast series called The Telepathy Tapes, which explores moments of deep intuitive connection between non-speaking autistic individuals and their families. It doesn’t claim to prove anything supernatural; rather, it invites us to stay curious about how humans connect and how much we still don’t understand about communication and consciousness. https://www.finding-motherhood.com/blog/the-first-of-your-kind monthly 0.5 2025-10-18 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/5f4aaaca-a3d7-4917-9fc1-fcc51437b101/ww.png Blog - The First of Your Kind: Parenting an Autistic Child Without a Map When you’re the first in your family to raise a neurodivergent or disabled child, there’s no handbook. No roadmap. Just you… walking a path you never expected, often feeling like you’re doing it alone. I heard another mum say on TikTok recently, “One of the hardest parts of raising an autistic child is being the first in your family to go through this.” And she’s right. It’s a particular kind of loneliness… one that sits quietly between love and grief, between fierce advocacy and deep exhaustion. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/0fd02897-aa9c-4b64-b4cd-2a250575bcde/cc.png Blog - The First of Your Kind: Parenting an Autistic Child Without a Map - What Helped Me The loneliness never truly disappeared, but it changed shape. It softened when I began to understand that what I was experiencing wasn’t personal failure, but part of a larger story - one rooted in culture, systems, and expectations. It lightened when I connected with other mothers who didn’t need me to explain. It lifted when I stopped asking, “What’s wrong with me?” and started asking, “What happened to me?” https://www.finding-motherhood.com/blog/some-days-i-dont-want-to-fight-anymore monthly 0.5 2025-10-16 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/a5c76211-018c-451d-961d-6d8a2c90cbc6/hh.png Blog - Some Days I Don’t Want to Fight Anymore There are days I feel like I can’t do it anymore. Days when the fight - for understanding, for inclusion, for compassion - drains me dry. I walked into another “behaviour support” meeting at my son’s school recently, holding all my hope and calm in shaking hands. I was ready to advocate, ready to explain, ready to remind them that my son isn’t “difficult”… he’s communicating through behaviour because he can’t speak the words. But the conversation slipped, as it so often does, from curiosity to control. From collaboration to compliance. Suddenly, I wasn’t a mother offering insight; I was a mother being quietly blamed. If only we were stricter. If only we set more limits. If only we parented differently. By the time I got to the car, I felt nothing. Just a deep, heavy blankness. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/58d5cd5f-29a0-45cd-9e99-6629846f831b/ff.png Blog - Some Days I Don’t Want to Fight Anymore - Therapist Lisa Dion says, “Regulation is contagious.” When we learn to soothe ourselves, we teach our children that calm is safe, not earned. I don’t want my children to think you only get to rest when you’re empty. I want them to see that softness isn’t failure. That rest isn’t a reward… it’s a right. So I remind myself: ✨ I am still a good mother, even when I can’t fix it. ✨ I’m allowed to step back from systems that won’t listen. ✨ I am still his anchor, even when I feel adrift. As Dr. Mona Delahooke says: “You know your child best. Trust that.” Even when I forget everything else… I trust that. https://www.finding-motherhood.com/blog/motherhood-and-guilt monthly 0.5 2025-10-15 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/ce5d1af5-46ae-405c-a487-05d74245bc1e/jj.png Blog - Motherhood & Guilt: How to Let Go of “I Should Have Known Sooner” If you’ve ever caught yourself replaying old memories and thinking, I should have known sooner, you’re not alone. So many mothers (especially those raising neurodivergent or disabled children) carry a heavy, quiet guilt. It’s the ache that whispers I missed something, I didn’t do enough, I failed my child. This blog is for you. Because guilt after your child’s diagnosis is common… but that doesn’t make it deserved. Let’s talk about why this guilt runs so deep, how social and medical systems feed it, and how we can start to release it with compassion. Before you go further, take a breath. This might feel tender… but you’re safe here. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/8d13efb4-ec7e-45f1-809f-9c6b8c96d659/uu.png Blog - Motherhood & Guilt: How to Let Go of “I Should Have Known Sooner” - A Letter to Your Past Self: Try writing: Dear Me, I see how hard you were trying. You weren’t failing—you were walking blindfolded through a storm, doing your best to keep your child safe… Let the words flow. Let compassion in. You might be surprised by what surfaces. https://www.finding-motherhood.com/blog/this-isnt-what-i-expected monthly 0.5 2025-10-15 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/cb8d6029-7641-4f8c-af9f-280a4d22123d/ll.png Blog - This Isn’t What I Expected: Processing the Emotional Highs and Lows of Your Child’s Diagnosis - I remember waiting for that Zoom call that would either confirm or deny our son’s diagnosis. My husband and I were both tense, barely breathing. What if she says he’s not autistic? What if we’ve got this all wrong? When she said the words “Yes, your son is autistic”… I didn’t feel sadness. I felt relief. Relief that we weren’t imagining things. Relief that there was finally a name, a path, a direction. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/6534b299-ce19-4006-b964-130698fe4d0a/pp.png Blog - This Isn’t What I Expected: Processing the Emotional Highs and Lows of Your Child’s Diagnosis - Feeling loss doesn’t mean you love your child any less. It means you are adjusting to a new reality… one that no one prepared you for. And there is no timeline for this. Some days, you’ll feel at peace. Others, grief will sneak back in when you least expect it. That doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human. Brené Brown puts it beautifully: “You can’t selectively numb emotions. When we numb the dark, we numb the light.” Real motherhood isn’t a filtered highlight reel. It’s meltdowns, sleepless nights, system battles - and laughter, breakthroughs, and moments of joy that take your breath away. It’s all of it. The mess and the magic. https://www.finding-motherhood.com/blog/who-am-i-now monthly 0.5 2025-10-15 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/c1e3af5d-d7fa-4425-b61e-ef021da46126/Body.png Blog - Who Am I Now? Rediscovering Yourself After Your Child’s Diagnosis When you first become a mother, people tell you about sleepless nights, nappies, feeding, and milestones. They tell you it’s hard, but worth it. What they rarely tell you is that sometimes, motherhood completely rearranges who you are - especially when your child is diagnosed with a disability or neurodivergence. For many of us, that diagnosis doesn’t just change our routines - it changes our sense of self. It can feel like the life you imagined, the version of motherhood you prepared for, has quietly slipped away. And in its place is a new, unfamiliar landscape. You might find yourself asking, often in the quiet of night: Who am I now? Who am I, after the appointments, the advocacy, the constant vigilance? It’s a question that echoes through the hearts of so many mothers. And it deserves space, compassion, and truth. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/4c1e3ddf-2fa9-4db2-90d7-054224649c70/kk.png Blog - Who Am I Now? Rediscovering Yourself After Your Child’s Diagnosis - Three small ways to begin rebuilding: Set aside 10 minutes a day just for you — no multitasking. Write down three things you love about yourself that have nothing to do with being a mum. Say no to one thing this week that drains you. You are allowed to take up space in your own life. https://www.finding-motherhood.com/blog/when-public-figures-get-it-wrong monthly 0.5 2025-10-14 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/090d5ce6-ddfc-4bc2-84fb-1d201ebd8a3a/xx.png Blog - When Public Figures Get It Wrong There’s a moment that breaks your heart — not because you didn’t expect it, but because you did. When a public figure, someone in a position of authority or influence, says something deeply hurtful about autism, the impact doesn’t stay in headlines. It spills into homes. It lands in doctors’ offices, school car parks, and exhausted dinner tables. It echoes through WhatsApp groups and specialist clinics and bedtime routines. And it stays there. In the spring of 2025, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. - serving as the US Secretary of Health - made headlines for saying he would rather have a dead child than an autistic one. And here in Ireland, Mary Butler TD, Minister of State for Mental Health and Older People, implied a link between screen time and autism. Both comments have been widely criticised. But for many of us parenting neurodivergent children, they landed far deeper than that. They landed in our gut. Because this isn’t just about misinformation. It’s about how our children are spoken about. It’s about how we, as mothers, are seen. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/67fe4187011d682c9554fa88/241e64ad-07f5-4b85-9a93-f5220ab3cac6/xx+copy.png Blog - When Public Figures Get It Wrong Imagine this: Assessment within weeks, not years. Every teacher trained in neurodiversity. CDNTs fully funded, fully staffed. Respite available without begging. Parents treated as partners, not problems. Imagine leadership that doesn’t say, “How do we prevent kids like yours?” but instead asks, “How can we support families like yours to thrive?” This isn’t just possible. 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